SALTINI & THE GENERAL (CONT'D)

The General reviews his troops.

When we last left The Great Saltini he was on assignment from Rolling Stone to report on rumblings of revolution against Gen. Ropas Sucias, dictator of sunny Las Los.

Like his idol Houdini, Saltini wanted to use opportunities as a journalist not only to further his magical career but also to “afflict the comfortable and comfort the afflicted.”

In an interview, Saltini asked General Sucias about his human rights record, particularly treatment of political prisoners. 

"We are showing them clemency."

"You mean you're letting them go?"

"Oh, no. But we are lengthening their chains."

Gen. Sucias invited Saltini to ask anybody how they felt about the regime. Saltini went to the town square, found an intelligent looking citizen and asked away:

“What do you think of Gen. Sucias?”

The man's eyes bugged out. "Are you crazy, cabron! I'm not going to answer that question!"

Saltini pleaded and cajoled. The native, looking trapped, darted his eyes left and right. With panic on his face, he beckoned.

"Follow me."

They went a long way, to a secluded spot under a bridge far from the center of town. Making absolutely certain no one could overhear, the native cupped his hands around his mouth and whispered softly in Saltini’s ear:

“I like him.”

Suddenly, four black Jeeps cannoned into the culvert and screeched to a stop. Armed soldiers jumped out and trained their weapons on Saltini. A sergeant with a face like a shovel handcuffed him and pushed him into the back of a Jeep. They drove for twenty minutes, far into the countryside, where Saltini spotted a small brick building the size of a dumpster. The sergeant, without a word, pulled Saltini from the car, shoved him inside the tiny structure and locked the door.

--THE GREAT SALTINI WILL RETURN. BUT NEXT TIME, MORE ORIGINAL RESEARCH ON HOUDINI.


RELATED:

SALTINI & THE GENERAL

ROLLING STONERS

SALTINI'S CHAINSAW MASSACRE

LAST OF THE "-INIS"





(Images via Google.)